There are two rumors about breaking up that I feel might be helpful to address here.
One is that breakups should be clean. The other is that you should only breakup when you're not in love.
The truth is, breakups are usually messy, the way people are messy, the way life is often messy. I's okay for a breakup to feel like a disaster. It doesn't feel okay, but I assure you it is okay.
It's also true that you can breakup with someone you still love. Because those two things are not distinct territories: love and not loving anymore.