Nov 03, 2019smfdenver rated this title 5 out of 5 stars
I loved this book & I think it was beautifully written. What struck me was how real this book really is. I’ve been there, as Guilia, during the time frame this book was written. I remember the roller coaster of emotions by both her and Mark. Patience, love, protectiveness and concern by Mark and detachment, fear, withdrawal, helplessness and confusion by Guilia. This eventually changed into resentment by Mark and anger by Guilia. Pretty typical and all part of the process. There is no script for this sort of thing. Their families wanted to help but not helping the right way because no one knows how to help, again this often happens, but usually with friends too. The Lukachs themselves don’t even know what they need. The yearning for a baby to make things whole again... From an outsider’s point of view you want to shout, “no, bad idea!” but it was what they thought would normalize them. Make their relationship “charmed” as they always called it. The crack, the fissure that had seemed insurmountable. To be someone who has been there, it’s relatable. For those who criticize the book & said it was more of the same story all throughout, that’s life with mental illness. It feels like one giant circle. It is. It’s not curable. But it is manageable & it often takes a long time to get “there.” If you want to get some good insight into how mental illness affects a young family I’d recommend this book.
The only thing that I’d say that seemed to be an outlier was the money issue. I’m not judging at ALL, but this seems atypical in their flexibility to take so much time off of work, travel back & forth for family, vacation, and have no issue with insurance/payment for mental health which is a huge stressor for most. Hey, I’m happy for them. Who needs any more stress in their lives than necessary?