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Mar 01, 2014ManMachine rated this title 1.5 out of 5 stars
Nope. No "Heavenly Creatures" in this movie-from-hell. If you're seriously looking for a real "ding-dong" demented, teen, lesbian "love-story" movie (with a truly laughable murder thrown in for good measure), then Heavenly Creatures is your one-way ticket to the 5th dimension of sheer, grate-on-your-nerves wackiness. I really don't know where to begin expressing my total disappointment over this utterly preposterous, unbelievably irksome, and decidedly over-rated Chick Flick from 1994. Had I been able to take something of a genuine liking towards the Parker/Hulme characters, then, yes, that would've made a whole world of difference when it came to my appreciation for Heavenly Creatures. But, I found these two flaky teens (who were forever hand-in-hand and (unconvincingly) gushing over each other) to be about as irritating a pair of lovers (be they straight or gay) that I've ever had to endure in any movie in a mighty long time. Anyways - When it finally came down to Pauline & Juliet actually getting around to committing their nasty, little murder (which, of course, was a lot more bloody than it was believable) I had grown so frickin' sick & tired of this film's non-stop nonsense that I really couldn't have cared about it, one way, or the other.