The Journal of Best Practices

The Journal of Best Practices

One Man's Quest to Be A Better Husband : A Memoir of Marriage and Asperger Syndrome

Book - 2012
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At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, What the... is wrong with my husband?! In the author's case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains his ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn't make him any easier to live with. Determined to change, he sets out to understand Asperger syndrome and learn to be a better husband, no easy task for a guy whose inability to express himself rivals his two-year-old daughter's, who thinks his responsibility for laundry extends no further than throwing things in (or at) the hamper, and whose autism-spectrum condition makes seeing his wife's point of view a near impossibility. Nevertheless, he devotes himself to improving his marriage with an endearing yet hilarious zeal that involves excessive note-taking, performance reviews, and most of all, this book: a collection of hundreds of maxims and hard-won epiphanies that result from self-reflection both comic and painful. They include "Don't change the radio station when she's singing along," "Apologies do not count when you shout them," and "Be her friend, first and always." Guided by the journal, he transforms himself over the course of two years from the world's most trying husband to the husband who tries the hardest, the husband he'd always meant to be. Filled with humor and surprising wisdom, this book is a candid story of ruthless self-improvement, a unique window into living with an autism-spectrum condition, and proof that a true heart can conquer all
Publisher: New York : Scribner, 2012
Edition: 1st Scribner hardcover ed
ISBN: 9781439189719
Characteristics: 224 p. ; 24 cm


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Cynthia_N Apr 13, 2018

I loved this! Finch starts a keeping track of "best practices" on how to help his marriage get stronger. It is laugh out loud funny at times because he does have Asperger's, his thoughts are ones we all have!! Highly recommended!

Sep 23, 2014

Check out the Rock Center interview with David Finch:

JCLHopeH Sep 23, 2014

Introspective and humorous! While not classified as self-help or inspirational, this memoir has qualities of both. Finch recounts moments of discovery, strategy, success, failure and persistence. From this, I not only learned about life as an Aspie, but I took away lessons about practicing self-improvement and open communication in a relationship.

Feb 12, 2013

As a self diagnosed autistic person, this book shed light on what i can do to to open myself up to new challenges and help others.

Sep 09, 2012

I think, Asperger's or not, this is a good book for anyone who is married to read-because it gets to the heart of looking for what the other person needs, while stopping yourself from being too needy.
Hilarious, in parts-especially when he and his wife try to share living space with their friends-because Asperger's rarely rides alone, this author also has a bit of OCD and ADD, which mostly drives other people crazy around him. One wonders how his wife puts up with him, but then we realize, none of us are easy to live with!

Aug 11, 2012

This book put my marriage and other relationships in perspective. It helps you realize that everyone has something they struggle with during interactions with others.

Jun 19, 2012

Funny and touching. One man's experience with a failing marriage, an Asperger Syndrome diagnosis and the journey to being "normal".

Apr 11, 2012

This is such a wonderful book. At times I laughed till I cried! I started reading it and thought, "I have Asperger's!" Then I read a bit farther and thought, "My husband/brother/friend has Asperger's!" Then I read more and thought, "Everyone has Asperger's!" I think actually probably that Asperger's intensifies/magnifies certain normal/ordinary human quirks (eg, making up words out of licence plates, showering a certain way, wishing to follow certain routines, etc). Whatever it is, it's a fun, quick read, full of enlightenment and interest. Highly recommend to everyone. So enjoyable!


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Feb 12, 2013

jkrambeck thinks this title is suitable for 12 years and over

Sep 09, 2012

DellaV thinks this title is suitable for 18 years and over


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Jun 19, 2012

Engaging the social world without empathy is like going to the mall without any money or pants on; it can be done, but you're bound to have problems.


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